month 12

better horribly late than never, right? this post was written on December 28th, but it took until now to get it posted.

dear Cora,

Happy Birthday my sweet girl! this has been such a fun and special month for us. you seem to grow daily, and learn new things as well. you had your first Thanksgiving and your first Christmas! you saw so many family members and loved on so many people. you are such a sweet girl and you love and are loved so easily.

let’s start with the really fun stuff first. you took your first step on December 6th! and then one week later, on December 13th, I picked you up from daycare and your teachers told me you had been walking around all day! you are on the move now, girlie. you toddle around pretty good, and while crawling is still the fastest way for you to get places, you take such delight in popping yourself up and walking a few steps, falling down, and then popping right back up. this has definitely been a huge milestone and we are loving watching you toddle. next week, I’m sure you will be running 😛

and then you got your first tooth! I felt it on December 8th and it popped through later in the month. now it is this tiny little white square in your mouth. i love seeing it there because it means soon you will be able to eat more table foods, but I will miss your completely gummy smile. this period of babyhood goes by so quickly.

you started signing “more” this month which is such a help for me when you are eating dinner, but you aren’t as consistent with using it. you also started getting very picky about eating this month. I don’t know where that came from. all of a sudden you are spitting bites of food out or refusing them altogether, and when I bring the spoon or fork to your mouth you will arch your head back and carefully inspect what is on it before eating it, in case I am trying to trick you by offering you a new food. 😛 I hope this doesn’t last long because there are so many yummy foods I want you to try now that you are getting teeth. and I’m a little worried you won’t eat your birthday cake – I think I’m way more excited than you about this, but I really want you to go crazy with it.

we are definitely in separation anxiety mode and you are getting sad when mommy and daddy leave you anywhere, but the good news is that you are getting sad when daddy leaves you and not just when mommy leaves – you are less resistant to daddy this month which is a relief – that mommy’s girl thing you were doing was really hurting daddy’s feelings.

you love to turn the lights on and off and you especially love to push the garage door button when we get home from daycare. as we walk close to it, you bounce in my arms and laugh/squeal. then I will say “push the red button” and you try your hardest a couple of times and then finally get it and laugh and bounce some more. you also really  love taking things out – of anything. baskets, bags, laundry baskets – anything that has things in it, you like to take them out and fling them behind you. it’s adorable. especially the laundry – I spend so much time folding the laundry and placing it in the basket and the you come over to “help” and throw it all out.

the size 3 diapers are finally fitting great and you are wearing size 6-9 month clothes..

favorites

Cora – walking! phoebe, the refrigerator magnets, getting into cabinets you aren’t supposed to, fluffy blankets.

Me – you!

pictures

month 11

dear Cora,

I can’t believe how close you are to turning the big O-N-E. the past 11 months have gone by at warp speed and my head is slightly spinning. you are changing daily and are such a joy in our life. we are so excited for your first holiday season. you’ve been wearing santa jammies since the end of October so you can tell how excited your mommy is about Christmas this year. everything is a little better, a little brighter with you around to share it with.

you love playing with your mommy and daddy and laugh all the time now. you wave “hi,” “bye,” and “nite-nite.” you are pretty consistent with signing that you are hungry, and you sometimes sign when you are all done. you “say” no constantly by shaking your head, you point at things that interest you. you are trying very hard to stand up by yourself. if you are holding on to something, you will let go for a few seconds at a time. you are also trying really hard to climb. we are constantly stopping you from getting your little knee up on your play table and your daddy even caught you trying to climb out of your crib this month! you do this really cute thing when you are playing in the living room if I sit on the floor with you. you will alternate between playing on your own, and coming to me and crawling in my lap to give me a hug. you have started hugging really hard if you are the one to initiate the hug. you struggle and wiggle away if your daddy or I initiate the hug. you also occasionally give big kisses.

you still don’t have any teeth! every time you get really cranky, I think to myself, maybe this time it will be teething, but it never is 😛 you are so fast! you can walk around the coffee table to steal a remote, or climb halfway up the small staircase before we realize what you are doing. we moved our living room back to the carpeted room in our house as that stairwell can accommodate a baby gate.

this month you helped your daddy celebrate his birthday and celebrated halloween. you were the cutest fluffy duck anyone had ever seen. and that costume was so warm. which was perfect since we went to our church’s harvest festival and it was a little chilly. the amount of people was pretty overwhelming to you so you cuddled a lot, but you definitely had fun people watching. this month you also had another sinus infection and pink eye 😦 but the antibiotics kicked in quickly and knocked it out. besides the few days you really didn’t feel good, you are still sleeping great! you don’t nap very well at daycare so sometimes you are pretty cranky when we get you home in the evenings, but we are getting pretty good at working around your moods.

girlfriend, you love to eat. and get so excited every time there is a new food to try. you especially love snacks and goldfish and graham crackers have become some of your favorite things. you would eat them at every meal if I let you.

you have been going through a huge mama’s girl phase the last 6ish weeks. you scream and cry when I leave the room and hurt your daddy’s feelings by not wanting to be held by him. as much as I love knowing how much you love me, I can’t wait for this phase to end. it is exhausting for all of us.

you are wearing size 3 diapers, although they are still a little big. the 2s were getting too small though, and your skinny little legs make transitioning sizes hard 😛 you are still wearing size 3-6 and 6-9 month clothes.

favorites

Cora – standing, “walking,” playing peekaboo, waving, “saying no,” playing on the coffee table, play table, and walking toys.

Me – hearing you laugh, seeing your big gummy smiles, cuddling, watching you learn.

pictures

no

my baby turned 11 months old today. I overslept and didn’t have time to give her bottle and cuddle her. she had to feed herself. and I was equal parts sad and proud. I have felt out of sorts all day because that cuddle time in the morning grounds me and prepares me for the day. without it, I’m left wandering. and yet, my sleepy babe held her own bottle and drank the whole thing without spilling a drop while I rushed about to get ready. a month ago I would have been late to work, with no other option but to feed her myself. sad and proud.

tomorrow is thanksgiving. I have been looking forward to letting her eat thanksgiving food all year. she still doesn’t have any teeth. but she will enjoy mashed potatoes and stuffing, and probably some other goodies.

on a rushed trip to carters last night a sales girl told Cora that she has the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. Cora told her no with her wrinkled nose and head shake. the sales girl and I laughed. while feeding her dinner, Cora started crying and saying “maaamaaamaaamaaa.” so I said, “I’m the mama.” Cora told me no. with tears and a head shake. I almost cried myself.

no is a new favorite word. and my only response is no.

changing

dear Cora,

yesterday morning, I got you out of your crib, and you had changed overnight. your facial features were just a little bit different. the expressions you make a little more pronounced. it is amazing and terrifying, the rate at which you change. I spend whole minutes every day trying to memorize everything about you, because tomorrow you will be a different little girl. you are funny and sweet and kind. you are also stubborn, hardheaded, and determined. you are becoming so much more communicative. you wave now to say “hi,” “bye,” or “night-night.” you sign when you are hungry most of the time. and you sparingly sign “all done.”  this weekend you learned to shake your head to say “no.” and used it. a lot. your daddy and I giggled every time you shook your little head at us and whispered under our breaths “uh oh, what has she learned?”  you tried to share your bottle with me a few times on Friday evening, and almost popped it right into my mouth because I was not expecting it. and on Friday night when I asked you if you were ready for bed, you waved to say “night-night” and then looked frantically around because your daddy was not in the room and you always say “night-night” to him before you go to bed. I love these sweet moments with you, and am so thankful I get to be your mommy.

the end of breastfeeding

Dear Cora,

last week we stopped breastfeeding. Thursday, November 14^th was the last day you nursed. I saw this day coming early on. I knew we weren’t going to make it a whole year when I went back to work and pumping was so hard. I knew, but I still hoped. and so, when you decided you were done, I grieved. I grieved the loss of that special bonding – breastfeeding was the one thing only I could provide you. I grieved your growth – no longer wanting to nurse means you are becoming more independent and growing into a child, no longer my dependent infant. I grieved the loss of that extra cuddle time – as tired as it made me, those late night and early morning snuggles were still cherished.

but then I celebrated. I celebrated that we made it 10 and a half months! Just one and a half months shy of my goal. that’s not bad. I celebrated that you are such a healthy, happy, and growing baby. I celebrated that when I get sick, I can take medicine now. I celebrated that I didn’t give up, that I let you decide when you were done. I celebrated that for the first time in 20 and a half months, your nutrition and well-being isn’t completely reliant on my body. I celebrated that your daddy can take over the late night feeding, so hopefully I will be less tired.

and you know what? the snuggle time with you while I feed you your bottle is still just as special, and since you aren’t frustrated with me for trying to coax you to nurse before getting your bottle, you are even more cuddly. after you finish your bottle, you sort of sit up a little, and put your arms around my core, and then snuggle your head onto my chest. it is one of my new favorite things.

I am so thankful breastfeeding was successful for us. It was one of the things I worried about most while being pregnant. I am also thankful you are such an easy going baby, and that formula was just fine for you too, when I couldn’t produce enough milk to support your growth.

I love you, darling one. continue to grow. continue to reach milestones that make me grieve the loss of your babyhood. because then we can continue to celebrate as well.

month 6

dear Cora,

you are 6 months old! a half a year! I cannot believe it. and it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time to write that. you are so much fun! every day with you is an adventure. but you are also growing way too fast.

at your check up you weighed 13 pounds 6 ounces and were 25 inches long. That puts you in the 13th percentile for weight and the 15th for length. you are still our petite girl (even though you eat like a champ!), but you are perfectly healthy.

this month you started going to daycare. you LOVE it! I was so nervous leaving you, but seeing how happy you are, and how much you learn every day makes it so much easier for me to go to work. most days, when I come to get you, you give me the biggest smile! I love it.

you can sit up unassisted for short periods of time if we prop you up – you can’t get yourself into a seated position yet. you are a rolling machine! you roll from your tummy to your back, and from your back to your tummy. you also spin around in circles. you are NEVER in the same place or position that I left you  in when I come back. you are really trying to crawl. you push and reach and snort and get frustrated with yourself but you are getting so close. then I will really be in trouble. watching the older kids at daycare has really encouraged you to try harder to crawl. you don’t want to be left behind.

you grab EVERYTHING in your sight line. you especially love paper, which makes it hard for me to open the mail and hold you. you love touching my drinking glass too, and it’s cute to see you react when the glass is especially cold. you also pull the straw out of my glass whenever you can. you are learning how to put your pacifier back in your mouth when it falls out.

you got your first cold this month. and your second :(. we were all so sad. and then I caught it. we were pretty miserable for a couple of days. I felt so bad for you because you obviously wanted to play and have your normal routine, but you didn’t feel well so you were very cranky. you also got pink eye on your 6 month birthday. the doctor prescribed you drops (which you really did not like), but the redness was mostly gone the next day and was completely cleared the day after that.

you love: looking at yourself in the mirror, having growling contests with your daddy, spinning in circles, rolling from your back onto your side, your jumperoo.

this month you tried some new foods and loved them all. you had sweet potatoes, squash, carrots, green beans, and prune juice. you are a great eater! we love not having to worry about a picky baby.

sometimes when I hold you up on my shoulder and pat your back to burp you, you will put one of your arms over my shoulder and tap my back. oh so sweet.

you started “saying” two-syllable words and using consonants. we hear a lot of “blah blah, gah gah, la la, and na nas”

you learned how to jump in your jumperoo this month. it is really funny to see you jump and get so excited.

Grandpa Page came to visit for one evening (for my birthday) this month and you had fun playing with him. you also spent some time with Grammy, Grandpa DuBray, and Mimi at breakfast to celebrate my birthday.

you are wearing size 2 diapers and sizes 0-3 (still!) and 3-6 month clothing.

favorites

Cora – stuffed animals, sweet potatoes, sitting, rolling, jumperoo

Me – picking you up from school, your smiles, early morning and late night nursing – when you are sleepy and snuggly.

pictures

month 5

dear Cora,

you have been 5 months old for a week and I just haven’t found the time to write this post. you seem to grow and change and advance every single day. I am so in love with you.

this month was huge for you in terms of food. you started eating rice cereal on May 9th. to say you LOVE eating solid foods would be an understatement. you do not patiently wait for your next spoonful. you yell if mommy or daddy isn’t being fast enough and you basically lunge at the spoon instead of waiting for it to reach your mouth. super cute. rice cereal didn’t really agree with your tummy however, so we quickly switched to oatmeal and that is much better for you.

you also tried peas and HATED them. you screamed so loudly, and we couldn’t get you to swallow them or spit them out, it made me sad. we kept trying to get you to drink some water to wash your mouth out, but you just wouldn’t. we finally had to get a cloth and kind of scoop them out of your mouth. we will probably try something a little sweeter instead for your next foray into veggies (I’m thinking sweet potatoes).

at the begining of this month you were sucking on your pointer finger and thumb together, and only once found your thumb by itself but you kept gagging yourself because you were sticking your pointer finger in your mouth too far. you finally found just your thumb towards the end of the month but we try to replace it with your pacifier when we see you sucking on it, because we’ve read that pacifiers are better for teeth development, and there is less chance of needing braces (let’s just all hope you didn’t get mommy’s teeth and end up needing them anyway).

you really try to sit up by yourself. you will push away from whatever is supporting you (us, or the boppy) and kind of wobble there. you have even kind of grasped the concept of putting your hands in front of you and holding yourself up that way, but you eventually topple over.

we went to Chico to watch your daddy’s cousin’s Christian and Danielle graduate from CSU Chico. I was so nervous about the trip because it is about a two hour drive each way and I didn’t know how you would do. we left at 5 am and you slept the whole way there! you did great at the graduation too, even though it was a long day, and you slept at the park where we barbequed for a little while. we left to come home around 3:15 and you slept the whole way home! it was fantastic.

this was my last month staying home with you so I tried my best to soak up every minute of being with you. since the weather got very nice this month, you enjoyed sitting outside waiting for daddy to come home from work most afternoons. you really love being outside, and sometimes would get really cranky if we spent too much time indoors.

you had a discovery day at daycare which is basically like a practice run day. I took you at about 8:30 and went home and cried. I was so sad to be without you. but it made it better knowing you were in a great school with people who were going to take really good care of you. you did fantastic! daddy and I picked you up together at bout 4:15 when he got home from work and you were napping but so happy to see us when you woke up.

your ezcema has gotten really bad this month. we switched your soap to what the doctor recommended we use and it just seems to make it worse, so I found something different that is for ezcema and we are trying that now.

for the first half of this month you still wore size 1 diapers but they were getting pretty snug so we switched to size 2s but not all diaper sizes are created equal we are finding. the Luvs 2s were too big, so we tried huggies which work a little better size-wise, but I don’t really care for their absorbency level. you are still wearing size 0-3 clothes (my petite baby!) and we are mixing in the 3-6 month stuff even though they are still roomy.

your sleep this month still hasn’t been great. hopefully that changes soon since daddy and I are both back to work now.

favorites

Cora – any soft stuffed animal, oatmeal, dancing and singing with mommy in the mornings, being outside, when daddy comes home from work

Me – snuggling with you, quick dry nail polish, boppy

pictures

 

Sleepy snuggles

Since we started this new nap routine, Cora has been sleeping less and less in our arms. It has become the exception rather than the norm. She now prefers to be put down to fall asleep. So on the rare occasion that she does lay her head down and snuggle into me to go to sleep, I savor it. Even though I have things to do today, and I should put my sleeping babe in her crib for the remainder of this nap, I’m not going to. I’m going to hold her while she dreams and stare at her peaceful face. Because tomorrow she will be 3 months old. Because time is moving too fast. Because she grows everyday. Because one day she won’t want to be held.  Because the dishes and the laundry and the errands can wait. Because I can.